Back to normal
When things are not going really well, there's not much to write about. That's why I didn't write. But after every down comes an up. And here it is. Or at least the up is on its way.
The way up needed a hand though. I've had help from different sides. From my parents, who still support me, even if I wake them up in the middle of the night because I forgot to think about the time difference. From Lotte, another Dutch aupair living close to me, who knows exactly what I mean, because she's going through the same. From my family and friends in Holland, who are still caring, eventhough I'm 16000 km away. But also from myself. Eventually I'm the one who's going to have to live with myself. And I'm the one who feels my feelings. And I'm the one who's going to have to stand up for herself. So I did. TravelActive advised (or rather 'pushed') us to talk about everything with the family. At the moment they told us I thought 'yes, of course I will, that should be easy', but it didn't turn out as easy as I hoped. Just because they're my employers. It doesn't feel like they are, but I do want to do everything right. I want them to be happy that I'm their aupair. And then it's not so easy to start a conversation about something rather negative.
You probably wonder what the conversation was about, but I'm not going to tell you. It wouldn't be fair towards Alex and Claire, because then I would make them look not very nice, while they really try to make me have a good time. A few days, conversations and feelings later, things got better again. The main thing I've realized, is that I really want to be in the family for 6 months and not give up sooner. I want to show my perseverance. Even if it's just for myself, so that afterwards I can be proud of what I've achieved. Because I can assure you, living in a family while you've just become a lot more independent by traveling to the other side of the world yourself, not only having to adept to the country, but also to a certain household and caring for a 10-month-old and a 3-year-old with a very strong will is not always easy.
Next week I'll start driving in Alex's car. A moment I've been looking forward to since I've arrived here. Don't worry, it's totally safe. I'm so used to being on the left side of the road now, that I can hardly imagine driving on the right side again. It's just the measurements of Alex's car and the uphill (really, really uphill) driveway in the garden that scare me. Fortunately, they've got a good insurance. I hope it covers damage caused by an 18-year-old, Dutch au pair who has got a month of driving experience and has never driven on the left side of the road, nor in such a big car.