Dear people that have followed my journey in the last few months,

I just had instant noodles for lunch. When I finished backpacking, I swore that I'd never eat instant noodles again, since that's about the only thing that kept me alive during those seven weeks. And here I am, back home, in Holland, rain everywhere, wearing three layers of clothes, a scarf and my winter jacket all day long, eating instant noodles. Just because it reminds me of something great.

Last Wednesday my plane landed at 9:40 am, after a 30-hour journey, from Sydney to Singapore, Singapore to London and London to Amsterdam. By the time I walked on Dutch grounds again, I hadn't slept for about 36 hours. And then I still had the whole day ahead of me. Luckily, at first, I was so excited, because I could see and hold everyone again, so I didnt feel I was tired. That night, I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore after 7. I woke up at 9 the next morning.

For 6 days now, I've been busy visiting my family and friends, sleeping, selecting pictures that I wanted to print and printed them (they're now all over the dining table, waiting to be put in a photo album), arranging stuff for my uni application etc etc.

Everything kind of felt normal rather quickly. First, you see someone again, you're super happy, give them a big hug, the next moment you're talking about the weather. Of course, there are some not-so-nice things. For example, being called a moron when I'm being sociable by greeting someone I pass in the street. The rain and 13 degrees eversince I arrived. The jetlag that makes me feel like crap. The hills in Sydney that I used to hate so much. Not being able to talk English and Dutch at the same time with a Dutch person, just because Dutch doesn't always suffice for what you want to say. Having to walk my dog again everday.

But being back feels a lot better than I expected. I've been keeping myself busy deliberately, so I don't start pitying myself, but I actually like being able to just grab my bike and go to my grandparents again.  And I like the harsh Dutch jokes that embarass me all the time. And I like eating all the unhealthy Dutch stuff, which makes me have to do more sports, and that actually is a good thing.

I do want to go back though. Maybe that's why I'm not sad. Because I know I'll go back, the goodbye is not forever. First I'll see if I get in uni, if I do, I'll study. If I don't... who knows.

Anyhow, this is the last article on my blog. I've uploaded my travelling-pictures, so you've got something to keep yourselves entertained. It was a pleasure to tell you some of my experiences Down Under, I hope you've enjoyed it. And I'll probably talk to you soon, in real life!

I officially consider today the last day of my backpack-journey. I'm in Darwin at the moment, and tonight I'll be flying back to Sydney, which I consider my hometown here, to stay with my hostfamily for a few days, see my friends again and fly home next Tuesday, 7 May. The reason I fly home 6 weeks earlier than planned is, obviously, money.
In the last few weeks I've seen loads of amazing scenery, sometimes as beautiful as what I consider paradise. Starting with the Uluru, at sunset. The touristic viewing point with people and tourist buses everywhere was a bit of a shame, but when I got to the front line, I saw what I'd been hoping to see for so long.
I was actually surprised by how beautiful Kata-Tjuta (the Olgas) was. We did the Valley of the Winds walk there, so we walked in between the rocks, that was pretty stunning.
I don't have my laptop with me, so I'm not able to put my photos anywhere, but I'll post them here as soon as I can. Although you'll probably never be able to see how beautiful it really was, sometimes even the best camera just doesn't suffice.
After Alice Springs, Katherine was next. There I saw Katherine Gorge, where I did a 4-hour-walk and ended up swimming underneath a waterfall, in crystal clear water.
After that, I went to visit a friend who lives in Kununurra, that's in the East-Kimberley, often called the most beautiful part of Australia. And it was indeed. Beautiful sunsets, driving through rivers with crocodiles in them, camping in El Questro and seeing Cathedral Gorge in the Bungle Bungles, which even made me cry because of its beauty. Oh, and the hot weather of course, the average temperature is 35 degrees.
From what I've heard, the temperature at home is 15 degrees. I know that that's really hot for you Dutchies, but, according to my calculations, from the 6 out of 8 months that I've been here, I've had 35-40 degrees. Oops. I'm so gonna freeze to death when I get home.

My grandparents used to have a piano in their house. Always when I went to my opa and omi, I'd play the piano. And on that piano there was a framed picture of a big red rock in a big field of nothing, with a clear blue sky above it. The Uluru, aka Ayers Rock. Opa en omi have visited that rock many years ago, and through the years they've shown me pictures and videos and told me stories of all their travels. And I always found Australia the most fascinating one, because of that mysterious big red rock.
And here I am, years later, waiting in Alice Springs to visit the Uluru on Friday.
But, before I rumble on about that thing ik the desert, you'd probably like to know what happened after Melbourne.
I did a roadtrip from Melbourne to Adelaide via the Great Ocean Road (GOR), in a van with a Canadian. The GOR was beautiful. We had a lot of clouds and rain, and, although I wouldn't have minded not being blown away at the Twelve Apostels lookout, I think that made the sea even more beautiful.
After two days we arrived in Adelaide, where I stayed for a week to find people to travel to Alice Springs with. I ended up with four Germans, a Frenchman and two relocation campervans. We left on Thursday and arrived on Sunday, after four days of nothing but desert. So many people say that the desert is hours of nothing but big, boring fields. Now I've seen it myself and I experienced something totally different. I've fallen in love with the outback, the red dust, the (I think they were) salt lakes, the many kilometres of highway that you could see ahead of you, without any cars on it, and the beautiful sky; bright blue during the day and full of stars at night.
Now I've been in Alice Springs for a few days, looking at the many aboriginals around here, reading, chilling out, trying to figure out my next kind of transportation, and proving once again that I'm a bad cook by getting hot oil on my legs, neck, hand and tumny, causing a few burns. Advise of the pharmacist; stay out of the sun at all times. Which is probably not gonna work, because tonight there's a camel ride during sunset on the planning. I can almost feel you being envious! I'll think of all of you at home, enduring the cold weather, while I'm sitting on a camel, looking at the sunset in that big field.

9 days. That's the time that has passed since I left my host family. Though it feels like several months, or even like I've never been an au pair at all.
At the moment I'm sitting in the living room in 'The Nunnery', a hostel in Melbourne. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and autumn is nowhere to be seen. I feel a bit sorry for the people at home. And I'm secretly laughing a bit at you too.
I've been in the Blue Mountains for four days and I can say that my journey couldn't have started in a better way. It was cold (25 degrees), but the people in the hostel were mainly Dutch and very sociable. I've missed the Dutch humor and was glad to be able to make a rude comment again without being looked at in a weird way. Not to mention the mountains of course. We've seen the Three Sisters twice. Once by day, while trying to catch a glimpse of them through all the tourists. And the second time by night, sharing the view with a few bats and my Dutch Ozzie friends Dagmar and Lotte, who were there for one night.
On Wednesday I had an overnight train to Melbourne, where I arrived on Thursday morning. Overall, my time in Melbourne hasn't been amazing, the people weren't sociable and I've had enough of cities. I can't wait to see the Outback, the real Australia. And so I will, tomorrow! I posted an advertisement on Gumtree (the Australian Marktplaats) and after several replies such as 'would you like to come for dinner? Then we can spend some time together' I found someone who has a van and will drive to Adelaide, via the Great Ocean Road. It will probably take a few days until we arrive in Adelaide. I'd say, let's hit the road!

Just a warning in advance; this is not going to be the best piece that I've ever written. Today was supposed to be my last working day for the Lehrer's. I say 'supposed to be', because I got a flu and I'm not capable of doing anything at the moment. But hey, rather have a flu while I'm still in the family than next week, when I'm going to be somewhere in a hostel, right? 

I've packed my suitcase, which I'm going to send home by ship. I can't believe how many extra stuff I bought here, I wouldn't have been able to take everything back on the plane. I've sorted out all of the stuff that I want to take with me, it's ready to be put in my backpack. I just have to wait until Sunday, that's when I'm leaving. My first destinatioin will be the Blue Mountains, it's a part of the Great Dividing Range and I've heard that it's beatiful. After that, I'll take the train to Melbourne, the city of art, culture and good parties. And after Melbourne I'm not sure what's going to happen. I just know that I want to do the Great Ocean Road on my way to Adelaide and I'm hoping to find some people who are planning the same, so we can maybe rent a car instead of travelling by Greyhound.

It's weird to think that I only have about 2 or 3 months left here. Those 6 months have gone really quickly, and though I knew it was going to feel like it was over in the blink of an eye, that doesn't make it feel any less weird. I'm really happy that I've completed the 6 months (plus one week!) in my host family and that I didn't give up. They've helped me a lot and I know I've helped them a lot too. And now it's time to do something for myself! I was sure about the date I would fly back home, but now I've figured out that I won't have enough money to travel that long, so I'll either have to work or go home sooner. I'll see how I go with that.

As for being in touch with people; I don't know when I'll be able to go on the internet to keep everyone up to date. There are probably enough places that have wifi, but I don't really want to spend lots of my free time trying to tell everybody at home what I'm doing, because in a little while I'll be able to tell everyone in person. I'll try to write on this blog as much as I can, so you know what's happening. That's probably the best and quickest way to do it. (:

I'll see you in a few months!

I figured it was about time that I'd put some new pictures on this blog. Not that I've been taking many photos lately. My very expensive reflex camera has been resting ever since I've been back from Shepparton. Simply because it's too heavy and because I've had a lot on my mind.

The time has come to arrange some things to be able to go backpacking. For example, I needed a backpack. So I bought one! I got a really broad explanation about the backpack in the store and I've already forgotten half of it, but I'll just figure everything out as I go along. With my brand new backpack on my back I walked into a travel shop, called Global Gossip. That's supposed to be one of the cheapest travel agencies for backpackers. I didn't want to book whole trip, but I did want to book the part at the Ayers Rock, because it would be a bit unwise to do that on my own. So I booked a three day camping trip: seeing the sunset and sunrise at Uluru (Ayers Rock), having a look at the Olgas and walking through the Valley of the Winds in the Kings Canyon. Awesome!

Lately I've mainly been afraid for the traveling, partly because I hadn't arranged anything yet and partly because I have to leave all that I know behind (again). But now that I've got a backpack, booked a trip and started packing stuff to send my suitcase home by ship, I would really like to leave as soon as possible.    'As soon as possible' is going to be in 4 weeks and 2 days. 16 March. The day that I won't be an au pair anymore. I would almost say 'hallelujah'.

Running a household for 5 people and a cat and a dog is not very easy. If anything, it will be a piece of cake to look after just me when I've finished here. I've never been this tired for such a long time. Some people don't understand why I didn't just quit if I didn't really enjoy the job. After all, this was going to be the year in which I was going to have the time of my life right? Yeah, true. But I can also say that, besides feeling like a zombie, I've also never felt better about myself. Maybe this is not the year that I'm having the time of my life. Maybe this is the year in which I'm learning by falling a hundred times and standing up 101 times. A year of showing myself that I do have endurance and that I'm capable of more than I gave myself credit for. And to me that might be even more important than having the time of my life.

And finally I've got some time to keep you up to date. It would be too much to tell you everything that has happened, but it involved a lonely christmas, stolen money and iPod on New Year's Eve, a show at the Opera House, meeting a special person and a few holidays.

My first holiday was in Shepparton, where a cousin of my granddad lives with her husband. I got to stay with Jenny and Alan for four days (journey not included). In those four days I've nearly seen all of Victoria. Not to mention experiencing the real Australan warmth, at one point the thermometer in the sun indicated 55 degrees. I loved it. Jenny is originally Dutch (although she's lived here since she was 8) and she knows the culture. After 4 months I could finally eat 'drop' and 'speculaasjes'! Other than that I rode a Dutch bike. I had to wear a helmet and a fluorescent vest. At first I thought it was nonsense to wear that, but after driving on a really big road with cars everywhere and having to anticipate in the car traffic with the traffic lights, I understood why helmets are compulsory here.

When I got back from Shepparton I only had to work for a week. And at this moment I'm on the Gold Coast, in Surfer's Paradise. Not with friends, which is a pity, because the parties here are supposed to be really good. I'm here with the host family. Which makes me experience another aspect of having a holiday. Instead of driving to the holiday destination with a tent in the boot, struggling for hours to set it up and having to walk to the other side of the campsite to have a shower or go to the toilet, which I've done for years with my parents (no offence, I loved it), my hostfamily flies to their destination and stays in a big appartment with a spectacular view on the ocean. The part before the flight was already amazing. After our priority check-in we went to a lounge, where the biggest buffet had been set up and we could eat what we wanted. When we got off the plane, a chauffeur was waiting for us and took us to the appartment. We've been here for 3 days now and all we've done is visiting theme parks, of which I've never seen many in my life.

I've never had any of this a lot in my life. And I must say that I'm not sorry for that. Having such a holiday once is really good, but setting up my own tent, with the neighbours 2 metres away and not having internet for a few weeks is pretty nice. Besides that, I love warmth, and in this appartment the air conditioning is on all day. Effect: Lauri, wearing long jeans and a sweater because she's cold. Then, when she goes outside, she finds out that it's 30 degrees and goes back in again to have a change of clothes. I'd rather have a tent without airconditioining.

I've stopped missing home. Not that I really missed it, but I was looking forward to the moment that I would come through those doors on Schiphol. Not anymore, sorry mum and dad and the rest of the people who miss me, I do miss you too, I just don't want to go home. But don't worry, my return ticket is booked already, I'll be back. One day. Kidding, I'll be back on 27 June. For now I'll count the weeks that I still have to go in my hostfamily (less than 8) and after that I'll have more than 3 months of total freedom. I can't wait!

Sydney is probably the most European city in Australia. A lot of things are a bit like the European way of life. Not everything though. For example the supermarkets here. Not the way that the supermarkets look, but the way one's being treated by the supermarket's employees. The first time I had to do some grocery shopping for my hostmum (I found everything after annoying too many employees by asking where I could find it) the whole thing took me about an hour. And then I went to the cash desk. The path for the trolley is really small, so I was kind of struggling with getting all the things out of the trolley onto the cash desk. And then I suddenly heard 'Hi, how are you?'. I can't exactly remember the way I replied, but I believe I didn't give a reply at all. Simply because I was amazed by the fact that they asked me how I was. So I just looked kind of amazed and started packing my groceries. Or, at least I was planning to start packing the groceries. Until I discovered that the cashier was already putting my groceries in bags. So, once again, I just kind of stood there, looking at what was going on, feeling a bit uncomfortable because I didn't have anything to do and the cashier did five things at the same time; scanning the products, getting a bag, putting the stuff in the bag, sorting the bags into a dairy-one, a meat-and-chicken-one and several other kind of bags and giving the bag to me. The only thing I had to do was putting the bags in my trolley. Which was quite difficult by the way, because of the small path.

The next time I went to the supermarket I still didn't really know what to answer on the 'Hi, how are you?'-question. But at least I didn't just stand there and look overwhelmed. This time I said something like; 'Hi, I'm fine, thanks, how are you?', expecting to get a reply. Which I didn't get. I found it a bit weird, first they were being excessively polite by asking me how I was, the next moment they would just ignore me and focus on the groceries like it was the most important thing in the world. So I just watched the groceries being packed again, put the bags in my trolley, paid and walked away, still wondering what I should answer on that weird question.

I've been trying different answers over the last few months now, such as 'Fine, thanks', 'How are you?' and 'Hi'. I've also been thinking of just telling them how I really feel, because I've learned here that being open and honest is important. But after giving that a bit of thought, I figured that the situation would then probably be as following: 'Hi, how are you?' 'Well, today I'm not very good actually, but thanks for asking anyway, would you like to hear why I don't feel really good?'. After having said that, they would probably ignore me as usually, focussing on the groceries as always. Which would make me feel really awkard. Not such a good idea.

Now, the problem is that this question is not just around in the supermarket. This question is pretty much everywhere. Every morning my hostdad asks me 'Hi, how are you?' and after 4 months I don't even bother answering anymore, because I know he's not honestly interested. He's just being polite. Either I could be polite as well and say 'Good, thanks, how are you?', but first of all, I know that he won't answer it and second, I feel to much at home now to be so polite.

Next time I'll just be the first one to ask 'Hi, how are you?'. Then I won't feel like a complete tourist and the one I'm asking it to has to deal with the weirdness of not being able to answer it. Problem solved!

Every once in a while there is this moment that is exactly like the perfect picture in your head of how you would want your life to be. Last weekend was a succession of those moments. Lotte lives in Bondi for 2 weeks now, because her hostfamily is in Melbourne and they couldn't bring Lotte. Now Lotte has her own appartment, with a living room, kitchen, bathroom and a double bed. So Lotte invited me to stay at her place for the weekend. Can you imagine? A weekend without kids, getting out of bed at 11 and deciding yourself what food you want to eat, because you can do the grocery shopping yourself. You probably can't imagine, since you're not an aupair, but, believe me, it's pretty great.

On Saturday we went to the beach. The whole day. Nice! Not so nice after we got back many hours later, since our skins had turned a bit red instead of brown, but never mind. Saturday was a really relaxing day.

Since we could decides ourselves what we wanted to eat, Lotte and I went out for breakfast on Sunday, after some kind of crazy Ozzie night. I couldn't think of having bacon and eggs for breakfast, which a lot of people eat here, so I chose pancakes with Maple Syrup, icing sugar and fresh strawberries. Not really better than bacon and eggs, but certainly the most delicious breakfast in my life.

Apart from having a good weekend, I've had another really good day last week. The 5th of December. Sinterklaas! For those of you who don't know what Sinterklaas is; I'm sorry, but I'm not going to explain, I've tried that with a few foreign people and nobody really understood it. We celebrated Sinterklaas right in front of the Opera House, with a bunch of Dutch people. I don't think many people can say that they've celebrateed Sinterklaas while sitting next to the Opera House. Several people were laughing at us, probably because they didn't have a clue what we were doing and we had more food around us than presents, so it just looked like a failed dinner.

Another great thing is that I've finally driven in a car! It may sound strange, but I felt like I didn't have a lot of freedom here. In Holland I can just grab my bike (and the last month I could also grab the car) and go wherever I want. Here I depend on the ferry which is a 20-minute-walk away from me (and walking is not so easy here with all the hills) and on the bus that seems to leave on random times. I don't mind walking uphill and downhill, but it just means that you can't 'just' go somewhere. So being able to drive the car is a big change for me. Since it's Alex's car, he wanted to do a test drive with me first. When I started, I almost forgot that I had to drive on the left side, but I remember right before I got off the driveway.  For your information; the car is not manual, it's automatic. And it doesn't have a normal size like the ones in Holland, it's a 4x4 and it's pretty big. When you go through the gates in the garden, you've got about 10 centimeters left on each side of the car, and the driveway is extremely steep. But I managed to get it out off the garden! Then I drove for about an hour in Rose Bay, Watsons Bay and Vaucluse. And I'm sure I'll do that quite a lot more.

Alex also got a mountainbike out of the shed of which I didn't even have knowledge of the existence. I was super excited about being able to ride a bike, until Alex told me that it's compulsory to wear a helmet. I don't like helmets. They give me a headache, make my hair go fuzzy and look funny. So maybe I'll just hang it on my steering wheel, just to make myself feel better since at least I didn't leave it at home. 

When things are not going really well, there's not much to write about. That's why I didn't write. But after every down comes an up. And here it is. Or at least the up is on its way.

The way up needed a hand though. I've had help from different sides. From my parents, who still support me, even if I wake them up in the middle of the night because I forgot to think about the time difference. From Lotte, another Dutch aupair living close to me, who knows exactly what I mean, because she's going through the same. From my family and friends in Holland, who are still caring, eventhough I'm 16000 km away. But also from myself. Eventually I'm the one who's going to have to live with myself. And I'm the one who feels my feelings. And I'm the one who's going to have to stand up for herself. So I did. TravelActive advised (or rather 'pushed') us to talk about everything with the family. At the moment they told us I thought 'yes, of course I will, that should be easy', but it didn't turn out as easy as I hoped. Just because they're my employers. It doesn't feel like they are, but I do want to do everything right. I want them to be happy that I'm their aupair. And then it's not so easy to start a conversation about something rather negative.

You probably wonder what the conversation was about, but I'm not going to tell you. It wouldn't be fair towards Alex and Claire, because then I would make them look not very nice, while they really try to make me have a good time. A few days, conversations and feelings later, things got better again. The main thing I've realized, is that I really want to be in the family for 6 months and not give up sooner. I want to show my perseverance. Even if it's just for myself, so that afterwards I can be proud of what I've achieved. Because I can assure you, living in a family while you've just become a lot more independent by traveling to the other side of the world yourself, not only having to adept to the country, but also to a certain household and caring for a 10-month-old and a 3-year-old with a very strong will is not always easy.

Next week I'll start driving in Alex's car. A moment I've been looking forward to since I've arrived here. Don't worry, it's totally safe. I'm so used to being on the left side of the road now, that I can hardly imagine driving on the right side again. It's just the measurements of Alex's car and the uphill (really, really uphill) driveway in the garden that scare me. Fortunately, they've got a good insurance. I hope it covers damage caused by an 18-year-old, Dutch au pair who has got a month of driving experience and has never driven on the left side of the road, nor in such a big car.